Uncrunched

I’m obviously not getting invited to the right parties, because the Silicon Valley I know and love bears no resemblance to the “obscene” picture painted by the NY Times’ Nick Bilton in his article earlier today.

The money here is obscene. The newly minted rich are obsessed with outperforming their rivals. One industry party I attended had a jungle theme. This included a real, 600-pound tiger in a cage and a monkey that would pose for Instagram photos. A prominent Googler’s Christmas party in Palo Alto had mounds of snow in the yard to round out the festive spirit. It was 70 degrees outside. Sean Parker, a founder of Airtime, threw a lavish, $1 million party that included models he hired to roam the room and a performance by Snoop Dogg.

There is an obscene amount of money here. But it’s the only place in the world where most rich people don’t really flaunt it.

I know a billionaire that drove an old Honda until recently, for example. Another that lived in a small apartment so he didn’t have to bother with the hassle of a home.

None of the people I hang out with talk about their private jets or wear “handcrafted jeans” (whatever that is).

And unlike New York, LA or Washington DC, the conversations here are rarely about money. They’re usually about ideas.

No doubt, there are countless people who consider themselves part of the startup scene who do little else than hop from one trendy party to the next.

But these parties, and these people, are not the ones doing anything interesting. As a blogger I learned long ago to shun those events. The real stuff happens at the events that don’t have caged tigers. Or NY Times reporters.

Because this isn’t a Hangover movie.

Perhaps that article speaks more of Nick Bilton’s social life than the Silicon Valley he’s trying to describe. Or maybe he’s watching too many Bravo shows.

Because, young Nick, the stupid shit people do in Silicon Valley these days is preciously innocent compared to the late 90s. That was a time that even the serious people started to lose the plot.

There’s a pattern with reporters and bloggers that come to Silicon Valley and experience it all for the first time.

They write stories about how all the startups now are building useless stuff and wax nostalgic for the recent past when people had bigger dreams and ambitions.

And then they talk about the excess at all the parties.

My advice is this. Stop going to parties. Then use all that free time to start spending time with the serious people, doing serious things. They aren’t at those ridiculous parties. So, why are you?

PS – One thing Nick got right though, are the endless pitches. Like Nick I was also pitched in a bathroom at a urinal. That’s not something you soon forget.

I was driving back from Lake Tahoe this afternoon in my rental car. Which meant a lot time to scan through radio stations to kill time. Somewhere before Sacramento I hit 810 AM, where they were talking about Marissa Mayer’s pregnancy, so I listened for a while.

The host was Tim Montemayor. He was taking a lot of calls from what sounded like older women. A lot of the comments were along the lines of “I’m sure she’s wonderful but it’s not fair because people who invested in that company are going to lose their life savings” and “she’s not fit to be a parent.”

In other words, these weren’t our country’s best and brightest citizens. The host was riling them up and HE seemed quite convinced that Marissa would probably simultaneously ruin Yahoo and neglect her child.

“I feel bad for this generation, too much is expected from women,” said one caller.

There was also, and I’m not kidding, some discussion of how hormones will affect her ability to cope with the stress of being a CEO.

Where’s the outrage? Where are the women in tech screaming for people to stop talking about a woman’s pregnancy as if it were somehow anyone’s business, or whether a pregnant woman/young mother is capable of leading a company?

For some reason Mayer doesn’t seem to generate that kind of passionate defense response from the self selected leaders of the women in tech movement.

I’ve talked before about how important role models are for more women to reach positions of power and influence in tech.

This whole situation is just a nicely wrapped gift to the whole community, something to truly inspire more women to get into tech and entrepreneurship.

But from what I’m seeing there’s a lot more tearing her down (including from women) than celebrating the whole situation.

Why is that?